Looking at one of the friend statistics apps on Facebook, I realized that I have over 200 friends under the age of 30. This blog post is for you youngsters and for the parents of youngsters.
I think the most important thing a parent can do for a child or young adult, especially one that shows they have some smarts or talent, is to keep them motivated to keep developing their smarts or talent and don't make it more difficult for them to continue developing by forcing a heap of responsibilities on them and distracting them off course. I'm not saying that my parents did that to me, but they did force me to pay for my own college, which I had to work full time to try to do and took away from my study time. They also went from being strict about me getting my homework and studying done during my elementary school years, to being more lenient during my high school years to not even caring once I reached college. I do understand that students need to motivate themselves to be successful, but you also need that little push to keep you going through some growing pains in your life.
As a child, I was driven and motivated to get the best grades in my class, and I usually was near the top, if I may be so boastful. My parents told me that if I kept studying hard and getting good grades, I might be able to get into a very good high school and I'd get a reward for those good grades. Usually it was a toy or game that I wanted. Once I got into Stuyvesant HS, they loosened the reigns a bit, but I was still focused on doing well there. I didn't quite have good enough grades to go to an elite or Ivy League college, but I felt as if I held my own with some of the best and brightest in NYC. But, once I hit St. John's, I had to work, I was also distracted by chasing after young ladies who weren't interested in me at all, I starting drinking, more than most of my friends realize and I had no drive whatsoever to do well in college. I ended up leaving St. John's after a year, I flirted with going to Hunter College, but I withdrew after about a week. I didn't know what I wanted to do anymore and I didn't feel that I had anyone to help me. Since then, I've bounced around from job to job for 23 years. I don't want anyone to feel bad for me. I caused it myself. Though things seem to be on the right track for me now, I will always regret the time I've wasted.
The moral of the story for my friends, especially the younger ones, is keep yourself motivated and get that degree. Studying might be a pain in the neck, but it easier when you're younger than at my age. You don't want to have to work two or more jobs to survive. It's prevented me from settling down and having a family. I still can't afford to take care of anyone else besides myself. If you learn anything from me, learn how not to be me.
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