Back To Poetry: The Swinging F#$%ing A's

It was 1990, in the fall, at 20th Street and 2nd Avenue, and it might have been just a silly New York City softball league to you, but to us, the members of this rag tag team, the A's, it was David vs. Goliath times ten! We barely had enough players to field a team, all that summer. Some of the better players had another league to play in, that was more competitive, that paid more money to the winners. We were just the back-up league to them. They would show up when they didn't have a game in that league, by the FDR Drive. Because of that, guys who were barely good enough to play in this league, had to start and play big roles on this team, like myself. Yes, I could hit a little bit, about .400, but the hits would usually be little dunkers to right field, because I always swung late. I played right field, and sometimes it would be a challenge for me to even catch the ball, but I was a rah-rah guy, cheering my guts out for my team. Though I was usually playing with a hang-over, like most of the team. It was usually 10am on a Saturday or Sunday, and I was just turning 21, the age of partying my ass off. But, I was committed to the team, and I showed up for every game. When I wasn't on the field, I was known as the stat-man. I kept the book and marked every 6-4-3 double play and K that occured. Most of the season, it was us hitting into the 6-4-3's and were victims of the K's. But, when the good players showed up, we eek'd out some wins.
       It was an eight-team league and the top six made the playoffs. We were 5-17 going into the last two games. We needed to win both games to reach 6th place and the playoffs. Every one showed up and we won easily and made the playoffs. We were 6th and faced the 3rd place team, called Scorpio's Tavern. They were a very good team, with a record of 19-5 during the season. We had no chance in the world to beat them and in game one, we were crushed 13-1. They were laughing on the bench at us as they led 4-0, going into the last inning of game two. Their pitcher had a no-hitter going, but lost the strike zone and walked three of us in a row. I should mention that most of our top players were not there. They were in the playoffs in the other league. After a fourth walk in a row, the coach wanted to take the pitcher out, but he swore he was ok. The next batter, known as Stormin' Norman, hit a shot off the wall that tied the game at 4. Then there were two more hits, and we led 6-4 and won that game.
       Game three was all about the legend of Roman Strawa. He pitched the most incredible game and we won 1-0, and we moved on to the next round, and faced an even tougher team called the Giants. They were 21-3 during the season, but we had all of our great players back, Yogi and Kenny and a great pitcher named Avelio. We won game one, lost game two, and out slugged them 9-7 in game three to go to the championship series against a team called the Stars. They were a solid team, but with our momentum, and all of our star players, we had a great chance to win the championship. Someone on their team made a mistake of talking a lot of trash talk. He sarcastically said:"Oh no, it's the swinging f#$%ing A's!" and we took it to heart and won games one and two easily, and after losing game three in extra innings, pounded them 13-4 in game four to win it all.
       The party afterwards was incredible! I was so drunk that afternoon, that I remember dancing like a wild man, but not much else that day. In our minds, it was the biggest upset in human history and though it was 21 years ago, many nights are spent in O'Hanlon's bar reminiscing about that season with my former teammates. We were indeed, the swinging f#$%ing A's and no one can take that away.........