The Greatest Love Of All

(I know that Whitney Houston had a huge hit with this song, but the George Benson original is the version that I love and I found the lyrics to be inspiring in my youth.)

Greatest Love Of All

I believe that children are our future Teach them well and let them lead the way Show them all the beauty they possess inside Give them a sense of pride to make it easier Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be Everybody searching for a hero People need someone to look up to I never found anyone to fulfill my needs A lonely place to be So I learned to depend on me I decided long ago Never to walk in anyone's shadows If I fail, if I succeed At least I will live as I believe No matter what they take from me They can't take away my dignity Chorus: Because the greatest love of all Is happening to me I found the greatest love of all Inside of me The greatest love of all Is easy to achieve Learning to love yourself It is the greatest love of all I believe the children are our future Teach them well and let them lead the way Show them all the beauty they possess inside Give them a sense of pride to make it easier Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be And I decided long ago Never to walk in anyone's shadows If I fail, if I succeed At least I will live as I believe No matter what they take from me They can't take away my dignity Chorus: Because the greatest love of all Is happening to me I found the greatest love of all Inside of me The greatest love of all Is easy to achieve Learning to love yourself It is the greatest love of all And if by chance, that special place That you've been dreaming of Leads you to a lonely place Find your strength in love

My Feel Good 10

Here’s my list of 10 things that make me feel good, in the order they popped into my head:

1.That I know 700 people that would be my friend(FB)
2.There's a Starbucks about every 10 blocks or so
3.There's a Chase Bank every 7 blocks or so
4.That I can text my brothers whenever I want, and they'll always answer.
5.That my second form of income has kept me alive, when the first form has been very elusive lately
6.That I'm 55 lbs. lighter than I was 8 months ago
7.That the Yankees have missed the playoffs only once in the last 16 years
8.That my iTunes has 8,000 songs
9.That I have not had the urge to go to McDonalds, even though there's one around the corner from me
10. That I'm getting enough sleep, for a change

Dedicated To The Ladies In The Past

The Dance

Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared beneath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known you'd ever say goodbye

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance

Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn't I the king
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance
Yes my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the dance

(See, this city kid knows all about Garth Brooks!)

.......On Second Thought, no abbandonza,,,,,

My amazing, caring, thoughtful and quite concerned friends have advised me on how unhealthy, a diet of just Celeste Pizza would be and since my doctor has just advised against it, saying it will cause a spike in my blood pressure, and considering that my heart beat is actually a little bit off as it is, his quote is:"I'm begging for a heart attack".. No, doc, I don't beg for heart attacks......I will adjust my diet accordingly....I promise.... :) I owe it to my friends......

A Big Part Of My Dietary Plan - Abbandonza!

My diet is green tea with each meal and this is my lunch and dinner. Celeste Pizza. It's only 350 calories and 1.5 grams of trans fat. It is heavy in sodium, 740mg which is 31% of the daily allowance. As long as you don't run to say, McDonald's and have french fries, I think you'll be ok. They're also pretty cheap. I go to Key Food and they are usually $1 each. So for those of you with tight budgets, like me, it a good deal and low on calories........ Abbandonza!!

Fifty More Silly Questions About Me

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? My uncle Paul, but I was almost named after my uncle Bob..

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? When my nose was broken in a fistfight. I was 13...

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? no way

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? I'm a ham...

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? None that I know of, unless you count the sperm donations of about 16 years ago. Darn teenagers......

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? I would. I'm usually drawn to nice but weird people....

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM? Always, but a lot of people don't get it...

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes, I haven't choked on them yet...


9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Never! I'd probably die of a heart-attack on the way down.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Fruit Loops(seems awfully fitting)

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Yeah, I'm not that lazy.

12. DO YOU PRAY? No, I don't think there's anyone there to answer my prayers......

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? vanilla(because chocolate = migraine for me)

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? If it's a guy, build, hair, face. If it's a lady, hair, face, the fun parts....

15. ARE YOU SINGLE? Yes, but anything is possible.......

16. DID YOU LOSE YOUR VIRGINITY BEFORE AGE 18? No, 19....

 17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My grandparents, my buddy Jimmy D. and Ronald Reagan(just kidding)

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST? No, it's just silly.

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? black jeans and no shoes on(just socks)

20. FAVORITE SOUNDS? Anything but a car horn...

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? 80s New Wave(Roxy Music, this minute)

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Vermillion

23. FAVORITE SMELLS? Spaghetti Sauce

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? My new female friend....

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? yes, overall I'd say that I like me.

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Leaning towards hockey

27. HAIR COLOR? light brown with touches of gray

28. EYE COLOR? hazel

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? no

30.FAVORITE FOOD? pizza

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? happy endings!!!!!! (Take that any way you want!)

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Atlas Shrugged.....interesting

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? black t-shirt

34. SUMMER OR WINTER? summer! The ladies wear less......

35. HUGS OR KISSES? Either is fine with me....

36. DO YOU THINK THE PERFECT MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX EXISTS? I thought someone was, but boy was I wrong. I guess there is no perfect human....

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? No idea. leaning towards Pinkie..

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? George Carlin is dead, unfortunately........My favorite comic ever, by a mile!!

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? Nothing presently

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? No mouse pad, laptop

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? I don't watch TV, other than sports

42. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? Lateness.......

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Beatles

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Washington DC

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? I don't mind if the ladies find out......

46 WHERE WERE U BORN? East Village, NYC, USA


47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?Someone with a sense of humor

48. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER? Might not be born yet!(JUST KIDDING!!!!!)

49. WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT TO YOU? Being able to afford Manhattan

50. FAVORITE SAYINGS? It's never too late to be what you might've been.

One Thing I've Learned About Myself........

Though I have experienced and been taught many things in my life, from different perspectives, the one thing that's always been clear to me, is that I can never follow anyone blindly and just go with whatever they say it is. I always want to figure things out by myself and try to be logical about things. I have to admit that this has gotten me in trouble at certain points in my life. It has also given some people around me a headache from time to time. My parents will always say that I was well behaved as a child, but sometimes I questioned their ideas on just about everything. Especially my mother, who has as good a heart as anyone alive, but I disagreed with her, philosophy-wise on everything. From politics to religion to everything else. I seemed to be more agreeable to my father's ideas. Especially the idea that all politicans(and clergy) were con-artists and crooks. Amen to that, dear old dad.. I've probably taken those ideas to the next step, which is to not trust anyone of authority, but I don't go marching in the street with it. Now that could get me in trouble.
    The point I want to make today is to know that I try to be as good-hearted a person as humanly possible, but some or most of you would be surprised by some of the things I truly believe, or not believe.......

Thinking Back

Sometimes when I sit back and reminisce about the past, I think about people I knew and wonder where they are in their lives and I wonder if they are content with what they've accomplished. Of course, I'm not completely satisfied with where I am in my life, but those who have been following me know that I'm doing everything possible to improve my existence. Frankly, my focus here is not so much on myself. I'm thinking about people I knew that passed away, and I wonder what might have been for them. Childhood friends like Johnny Z. and Jimmy Duval and Yves Brewer. I know Jimmy would've been the first person to give me a kick in the butt and push me to move forward in my life. I'm sad that they are not around, and I feel that they were all cheated by fate and we were cheated of the experience of having them around. They weren't given a fair opportunity to live their lives and contribute to society. There are, as far as I know, five members of the Stuy class of '87 that are no longer around and it's sad to have lost such intelligent people. I think the point I'm trying to make is to appreciate life and appreciate the people you know, because tomorrow is not promised to anyone. Life is short, have fun!

685

There's six hundred and eighty five
My Facebook friends and they're all alive
Some say that's too many and I should delete
But I think some are cool, and others are sweet

132 from the class of '87 at Stuy
97 from other years, and that's no lie
70 friends went to St. Stan's with me
12 of which, were in my class, yippee

There's 143 from my neighborhood, past and present
Finding all of them, made searching very pleasant
Among the most enjoyable connections I've had
Are nine of my relatives, including dear old dad

91 I've met during my league bowling years
and 92 through karaoke, we've shared lots of cheer
25 more from my Domino's career
The other 26, I have no idea

I end my Facebook poem here today
and just have one more thing to say
Who do I sue to pay for the time
That I have wasted, sitting here online

For Christine, Something Happy

I'm happy to be alive, and living in this time
I'm happy to live in Manhattan, where I don't have to drive
I'm happy to know, that I have friends who care
I'm happy that I'm 41, and still have most of my hair

I'm happy to have my sight, and that I can hear
I'm happy there's pizza, and tacos and beer
I'm happy there's women, so pretty and nice
I'm happy I'm not married, and haven't been hit with rice

I'm happy to have a friend like you, Christine
I'm happy you're cheerful, and hardly ever mean
I'm happy that you like to dance in the rain
I'm happy that your smile remains the same

I'm happy this poem is over, I'm lazy
If you think I'm really happy, you're crazy!!!

Like A Diabetic In A Candy Store

(For the hip hop fans,............. maybe)

I feel like I'd been locked in a cage
Year after year to quell my rage
Dummed down by the world, but in my head a sage
Looking in the mirror as I'm turning the page

My feet find me back here in the city lights
Looking for a babe to get me through the nights
Feeling like I don't have the proper game
To light that spark and ignite that flame

It's like a diabetic in a candy store
I want them all, but I can't have no more
So much to choose from, but I only get a whore
I wonder how many hits will get me a score

I feel so alone, but it's just in my head
New York's alive, but to me it's just dead
Sadly the parade has passed me by
I sit here alone, and I wonder why

Ok Cupid, c'mon, do your job
Bring me a honey, and I will come alive
Maybe some viagra will give me the drive
and I will be a star in my bedroom, live

It's like a diabetic in a candy store
I want them all, but I can't have no more

So much to choose from, but I only get a whore
I wonder how many hits will get me a score

SCO_0940

SCO_0940, a photo by Arlene's World Famous "LIVE" R&R Karaoke on Flickr.

Me singing "Creep" by Radiohead at Arlene's Grocery

The Lonesome Loser(My Second Attempt At Poetry)

Sit down, take a look at yourself. Don't you want to be somebody....

I did a lot of sitting down, maybe way too much. I let a lot of time and opportunities go by. I figured the chance to become someone special would come easily for me or just be handed to me by someone, but that never happened. So now, in my forties, I wake up in a cold sweat and freak out because the alarm clock didn't go off for me, like it did for everyone else in their lives. I'm late for something, or a bunch of things, like the great job or my wedding day or the birth of children. I won't be attending any of those things today, but I wonder, is this the real path I was supposed to travel in this life, the one of obscurity, of near poverty, of perpetual loneliness and haunting dreams of what might have been or, am I extremely fortunate. That I have all four of my limbs, that I'm relatively healthy, and that I look a few years younger than my age. At least that's what a lot of people tell me. I'm lucky to not have the responsibilities of others, especially the friends who are divorced. I don't have the baggage, or the alimony or the child support. I sometimes also think, maybe I also missed the calling of complete self-destruction. I could have easily become a terrible drug-addict, or gambling freak or had deep depression to the point of suicide. But luckily, I have not gone in that direction either. Yes, there is still time for me, but the clock keeps ticking.....

Have you heard about the lonesome loser, he's a loser but he still keeps on trying......

The Lady Of My Dreams

I will now be using this blog to post my poetry. Some of it will be fictional and some will be autobiographical. Hopefully everyone will enjoy it and no one will be offended by it. Here's my first poem:


THE LADY OF MY DREAMS
There she was, looking just the same as she did the last time I touched her. But I never touched her, it was all in my imagination. This is not a Barry Manilow song, it's reality, a sad reality of underachieving and broken dreams, and wasted time and talent. I feel like Rip Van Winkle, I slept for 20 years, while the rest of my brilliant classmates received their degrees and started careers and most of them got married and had children and have lives to be proud of, as they face being in their 40s and 25 years since Stuy, and their hair turning grey. I face that too, but I also face what could have been, what might have been, and it haunts me. You know what else haunts me, the lady of my dreams. The lady of my dreams is one of them. She walked down the same halls as me, she got her degree and has a great career. She got married and had a kid and has a life to be proud of. I've seen her and run into her and have probably scared her a bit. At Starbucks, and her block, and my block, and seemingly everywhere in 10009. She probably wonders what went wrong with me, if I'm just a creepy stalker, why I'm not a success like her. I wouldn't know what to say if she asked me that question. I couldn't explain it, I would just be in a daze that she would be asking me anything. I'm not in her league now, not even close. I don't know if I ever was. I've had a thing for her for 2/3rds of my life, a crush, a wild obsession, since freshman year, since 1983. I forgot about her for about 15 years, but Facebook brought her back, better than ever, back to my dreams, but for me it's a nightmare. I must try to forget her, even though I live near her. I mean her, and everyone else on earth, no harm whatsoever. I admire her, and respect her, and adore her. I always will. This poem is over, but  she will always be, the lady of my dreams, though she may never be, in my reality.

Maybe There's Something To This "The Secret" Stuff

I am surprised, amazed and a bit bewildered by how things have seemed to pretty much fall into place for me recently. I made a mental list a few years back of where I wanted to be in my life, by the age of 45. At that time, I was living with my parents in Whiting, NJ, I was working at Domino's Pizza, I had no career or romantic prospects at all and I couldn't even get a DJ or Karaoke gig. I was feeling really down and questioning why my life had gone so downhill. At that point, I stumbled upon a book called "The Secret" and I thought the whole premise of it was nuts. The idea of just wishing for things to happen seemed at best, a very odd notion and at worst, totally not logical, but I read it again and started to try and visualize what I really wanted in my life. Fortunately, things started to move in the right direction. I was able to get out of debt and save up enough cash to consider moving back to NY. Thanks to my friend Gerry, I was able to at least rent a room in his house in Long Island and start working for him. After two years, I was able to save again for a move to NYC. Nowadays, I'm basically bouncing between the East Village and Stuyvesant Town but I'm generally back home, where I've wanted to return for a long time. It looks like my career situation is coming together, between being in the process of becoming a court officer and landing some DJ/Karaoke gigs, all in the same neighborhood bar. It all seems to be coming together.The only thing left to wish for is to find that special lady to be with. It's ironic that two of my favorites are within walking distance of me. I don't know if things will continue to fall into place, and potentially involve either of them, but who knows........