The Pizza Asylum

      When you call in to order a pizza or order online(for you anti-social creeps out there), you probably have no idea what goes on at the pizzeria or what kind of mix of personalities are working together to create such enjoyable, high calorie, high fat, totally unhealthy crap. This motley crew of whack jobs that I work with create an atmosphere of total lunacy and though no one is exactly making mega-dollars here, the job can be a lot of fun and there are many characters here who play their roles and deserve their due.
    To protect their innocence(as if), I will use nicknames for each person. I am affectionately(or not) known as "Benny Go Home" because it seems that each time I work there(three separate times now), I always work there with future plans to return to New York. The general manager of the store is known as the "Boss Lady By The Lake" because she lives in the town of Lakehurst, where the store is located. She's down to earth and very cool, but she will crack the whip when the inmates get out of hand. One of the assistant managers, known as "Crazy-E", should either be on stage or in a straight-jacket. Actually, probably both at the same time. His goal in life seems to be to crack everybody up. It certainly seems to come naturally to him. It wouldn't shock me at all to see him in the movies someday. I always look forward to working with him because I know that I'll be laughing all day. The other assistant is known as "The Hammer" because he is very handy with tools. He also is a computer whiz and I'm sure that his career will involve fixing them.
     The other delivery drivers in this store are whacked-out in one way or another. The old man known as "Burnt Like Toast" must have had vast experience with LSD, PCP or large quantities of airplane glue in his younger days. He's out there somewhere. "Scott On The Rocks" obviously was dropped here by aliens. He's very unusual in some ways. The guy known as "Zero-Wheel Drive" has no idea what he's doing with his life, but he loves Pink Floyd which is a very cool thing in my humble opinion. The last driver is known as " Military Precision" because he was in the military and he's always on time and never gets lost on a delivery.
       The part-time inside workers are interesting in their own ways. The monday night manager, known as "Monday Warrior" is vicious and crude with his humor, he can't stand Burnt Like Toast and I fear that one day he will flip out and use the sandwich knife on everybody. "Wonder Boy" is one of those know-it-all types that you wish you could slap. Last but not least, there is "Cinnamon Spice" who wants to rule the world, just with her sweetness.
        I enjoy the lunacy that occurs because it helps me take my mind off the reality of the job that there are many cheap-skates who don't tip well at all and there are too many slow drivers on the road, which drives me absolutely nuts at times. I freely admit that I'm totally guilty of road rage. The job does pay enough for me to survive, but hopefully it's just a stepping stone to bigger and better things.